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Jul 7, 2004
$1.99 Mozart, a Habit for Obtaining Stuffed Animals, and Cheap Champaign... What a date.
This was the entry that I started and never finished... however, it's still worthy of publishing.
RED YELLOW GREEN BROWN SCARLET BLACK OCRE PEACH RUBY OLIVE VIOLET FAWN LILAC GOLD
Good Lord... crazy shit happens when you watch Joseph before bedtime. It's kind of like that rule "don't feed the gremlins after midnight" ya know? Good ol' Gizmo. So I think I woke up three times in the night tonight because I was having that crazy of dreams.
So, I had gotten off a plane in New York for who knows what reason, and I was walking with the girl that I met on the plane. She had no idea where she was going and of course since I know the city of New York like the back of my hand (?????), I was able to show her to this building that was covered in era's. Example: one window said "1920" and others said "1840" and "1450". I followed her inside to find out about those windows when I realized that the entire building was just one big theatrical world! It had stages upon stages and recital halls, and practice rooms, and dressing rooms that you couldn't imagine. Millions of people could sit in that hall and watch some of the greatest performers in the world. Later I found out that those windows with the era's on them were huge rooms filled with costumes, props, jewelry, hats, shoes, everything from that era!!!! A performers dReAm!! I found out that this girl was part of the University of Illinois Madrigal Singers and they came there to perform their show. I walked into the audience and saw half of the Chamber Choir sitting there getting ready to watch the show and I thought- Why wasn't I invited? Everyone else is here... Amanda is carrying around a new born baby (hers) and Sam Ruiter just walked in the door giving me a dirty look. But then I saw his hat that looks like a condom and realized that everyone (including Matt Brosseau who had his arms around Ashley, was dressed in their Madrigal costumes except for me. Then, I found
CHOCOLATE MAUVE GREEN CRIMSON SILVER GOLD AZURE LEMON RUSSET GREY PURPLE WHITE PINK
And, that is all she wrote.
Since that issue shocked me so greatly, I think I needed that blog break. However, I have stayed updated on the blogs of the rest of the group. Greg tells half of his stories with vague detail, Jill hasn't updated since her boo came home (or since I got home for that matter), Sara switched to Xanga (ppsshhh we all got dissed gurl), Heather just quotes songs all the time, Peter is amish and doesn't believe in the power of blogificationism, Marina has a Brit for a boy toy so what does she need a blog for? "He softly put his Brit hands over my American shoulders and then we spoke sweet nothings to eachother with wicked weird accents and I couldn't understand anything that he was saying because I don't know what a "bloody wanker" is and he didn't understand what I was saying because he just looked into my deep American eyes and started to realize that not all American girls are super models. (Like every Euro boy does)" Trust me, none of us need to be hearing that, and Bryan never talks about his damn day! It's always, "And I felt a cool southern breeze on the tip of my face. But it wasn't my face, it was just the shadow of my Indian grandfather who's kindred spirit is now among the doves- the doves which are you and I. And now, because of his spirit and his love for vegetarians, you, my dove, can finally be with me." or some sentimental crap like that. Granted, I do the same, but it would be nice to hear- "Yeah, so I went out to Tinley today, saw a movie with the gang, ate popcorn, sucked face with my girlfriend, and went home a happy boy." It would be nice if life was that easy... Too bad it's not. Posted at 09:52 pm by BellaSkye
Jun 3, 2004
One more touch, and then we'll go.
She takes a deep breath after rolling her windows down. The air is cool, the darkness has already fallen. The people are starting to disappear after an entire day of events. A Steinway fills the room with the sounds of incredibly depressing and haunting melodies. All she can smell is the sent of her mother's perfume. She then closes her eyes to imagine the millions of stars and plants that are just beyond her ceiling. Nothing in the world matters right now... nothing ever has. There are faint whispers in the background of conversations. "This is the moment that you know that you told her that you love her, but you don't. Yeah, she is beautiful, but she don't mean a thing to me." People have started to retire to their backyards to socialize with the neighbors. They ask about their days events, news with the family. "Is there something wrong?" "You're damn right there is, but we can't talk about it now." They could never talk about it. They just won't admit it. Sometimes she wishes that she could go back to when the world was born. That way, she could see what beauty was. Beauty... She wishes she was naturally beautiful. That type of beautiful where she could lay on the beach naked forever. She begins to trace the events of her day realizing the people that she looked in the eye and made an impact in her life. The woman at the service counter who tried to steal her merchandise, the little girl in purple flip flops (not a day over four) who walked around saying "Mommy! Mommy!" and how that little girl makes her cry because she reminds her of her little cousins who shouldn't ever grow older, the person who licked the envelope on the University of Minnesota pamphlet, the artist of the lyrics she heard- "I need you so much closer", the driver of the firetruck that rode down the median at 135th and Cicero who is scared out of his mind because it's his first fire, the twelve year old opera singer from Austrailia who she wish she could be -- but what she realizes is that she never will be that girl, because that girl doesn't matter. What matters is the girl who is going to be singing at the top of that balcony on Friday morning praying the Ave Maria to a closed casket filled with the body of her mother's mother. And the long day ahead at the funeral home, saying
"I'll see you soon."
"One more touch, and then we'll go" Posted at 12:33 am by BellaSkye
May 31, 2004
It always rains like hell on the Loser's Day Parade
Oh Goo Goo Dolls.... take me away... You wanna win my heart over? mmm concert tickets... Doing this "Blog Week Update" thing that Heather does seems like a grand idea... I'm going to try it now.
So, Relay was last weekend, and I'm going to update everything that happened post Drama Banquet... I never really even finished that entry cause I sent the lap top back to that one place where I "learn". I don't like saying the S word... ::shudders::
Monday: After partying my face off all weekend, I woke up bright and not early for my last full day of S. To hell with that place... My God. The english bitch offered some extra credit if we go see Troy. Essentially, I would pay $6.75 (compared to the $9.75 at Marcus) for a few extra points in class. Well, I'm glad it didn't suck, cause I would have been upset. My friends, Troy goes on my all time favorite movies list. I super enjoyed it. Speaking of movies, after Troy we all ate Wendy's on Sara's frunchroom floor while awaiting the clock to strike midnight so we could go over to Best Buy and buy Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. By the time we got back to Sara's house, I stayed up for the previews and the first half hour and passed out under Mark's desk. I woke up in the weirdest position possible (not good for my spine) and had 3 pillows and 4 blankets on my face.... I was real confused.... Then I realized it's cause my lungs collapse when I sleep and I snore. Attractive, I know.
Tuesday: Part of that last paragraph was obviously Tuesday... Sara and I jumped into her car and made it to S in record time after stopping at Burger King for breakfast. I took my english final (what a fucking joke) and my "CHAMBER CHOIR FINAL". Dear Brunssen, was that even a final? He's like- "Ya... sing this one part... Yeah... ok, you're done. Have a nice summer. Don't do anything boring." The Juniors (SENIORS!), Gary and Ryan all sat in a big ass circle and played Simpson's Uno. That was a fun game since they thought it would be funny to gang up on me and leave me with a ton of cards in my hand... come on guys! Seriously though, sitting in that room made me realize how amazingly fun our choir is going to be next year... all those kids PLUS Sara, Heather, Brian Erickson, etc. It's going to rock a lot! Especially Madrigals. I invision a room full of kids who can't stop laughing and a Brunssen who pops out a cold one in his office (which we'll destroy by mid-year). I really am excited for SENIOR year... at least the extra curricular's part of it... Now, the dances (Prom), dates (Homecoming football game), and other matters of the heart aren't going to be as much fun. But, that's another day.
Wednesday: Not much happened on Wed. I had my gym and guitar final (which reminds me I have to call gym-amanda before she moves back to Wisc!) Guitar final sucked of course. I kind of just walked into the room and said... "ya, Masta P... I don't know the barre chord progressions... so I'm just not going to do them..." He's like... "ya" and that was it. LOL... Nice final B, nice final. I came home, talked to the sweetest guy in the world (Mr. New Jersey as my friends like to call him) and fell asleep for a good three hours. I woke up, did a whole lot of nothing... Watched Center Stage... Went back to bed. Yea..
Thursday: I felt very good... productive... alive... good day! I went in early to do my US History review packet and then took the final. I got a 77% which I wasn't too surprised about. It's a C+ and the + means effort! Hopefully my borderline B/C grade will bump me to a B cause I was a good student and sang/played my guitar/wrote songs about dead presidents for lesson plans. I came home around 12:30 and ran some errands on my bike- KMart and Applebee's (job applics), church for paper work, lunch, la la la. I e-mailed David Haas and the Peer Ministers for MMA 2004!, got an adjustment/massage at the chiropractor, and talked to John about my All State monologues (which I'm fucked over with.... I'm so scared it's rediculous- I still haven't picked one) Later that night I was House Manager/PR for a show in my company over at Sandburg HS. It went over well... Crazy "Red Hatters" made me smile. (Ladies who go around to social events wearing red hats and purple dresses- all based on some poem and they made a 50 y/o's bingo society out of it.) and came home to sleep, watch American Beauty and sleep some more. God! Do I love sleeping! I haven't slept all S year!
Friday: TODD AND BRENNA DAY! Todd is a very dear theatre friend of mine from T.F. South HS and I haven't seen him since the crazy Guys and Dolls cast party weekend. (I think that was the weekend I really started to hate Amanda Eubank...) Traditionally, I only get to see him three or four times a year at GI competitions, speech, shows, etc. etc. (Didn't I say he was my theatre friend?) We went to the library to pay for all my oober fines (I think people should be awarded for having library fines! That means they're learning!), lunch at Wendy's, window shopping at the mall, (I saw Josh sitting inside of Panera Bread... that was awkward), I bought him ice cream at Dairy Queen, he bought us mini golf tickets (cough cough hole 17?), we saw The Day After Tomorrow at Lowe's which was sooooooooo good! We went out to dinner at the cute little Italian Connie's Pizza and the food was soo good. Then we waited in his car outside of Heather's house for the gang to get back from their adventures. I leg wrestled Greg (he kicked my ass), and played hide and go seek in the dark (very sexy if I do say so my self!) We had our own little rave with the strobe, and we all eventually crashed in her frunchroom. Midnight came...
Saturday: We went back to my house, played loud music in the street, pissed off mi padre, Todd finally met my parents, I changed into pajamas, Todd and I got in a fight about him being totally and completely beautiful (in my eyes), Todd left, me/greg/jill/sara/peter/marina went to Cub Foods. Jill and I picked out food for the rest of the night. $1.99 Hawiaan Punch, 3 boxes of mac and cheese, fruit snacks, strawberries and whipped cream! For the next 20 minutes we played with a 99 cent ball in the produce section with the produce workers. What you can do in Cub Foods at 1:00 am... We went back to Jill's, ate, played with Yahtzee (Jill's dog), and we all fell asleep to Center Stage. Woke up, went home, slept, slept some more, watched Ferris Beuller's Day Off, and wondered "what the hell am I going to do for the rest of the night?" and here is why God is messed up.... he purposely made my friends not call me, hang out with me, or give me any plans. That way I could force myself across the street to see the TNT (church youth group) people... Of course, I love Rich and Maggie.. but not the rest of them. I was invited out to ice cream with them and then to Ali Hayes's house afterwards. (Dana Friberg!) It was very awkward being there but I did have a very Breakaway-esque conversation with Lloyd and Maggie on grass (hense- Breakaway). This summer is going to be incredibly weird with them. I mean, the lock in for the mission trip to North Carolina is this Friday... I now have to be re-accepted back into this group... It's going to be nerve wracking, but I'm sure God is laughing at me right now. The other weird things that happened last night were Amanda Eubank actually talking to me (ditz) and Gina inviting me out to party with her. So, we'll see what happens... It was just a very odd night. What would have made it more odd would have been a guy asking me out... Then I think it would have been the oddest night in history.
Monday: Now, I'm sitting here, talking to you at 1:08 am on Monday (an hour after Sara left) and I'm about to finish this blog... I really hope I didn't forget anything. I went to mass "in the middle of the pouring rain" and thunder... lol... went shopping for groceries, slept, went to work, got off early from work, and then Sara came over for maybe an hour just to talk. I was supposed to get kaufy with Mal Maher... I don't know what happened with that. Well, I think I'm done with this blog now... I'm going to IM everyone to say it's done and talk to Jeff.
I really need new shorts and tank tops... mmm.. SUMMER! LIKE SENIORS DO!!!!!
Goodnight Moon. Posted at 01:18 am by BellaSkye
May 24, 2004
Oh laptop, how I’ll miss you so when I have to return you to school tomorrow morning. You have been my night light and I will truly miss your brilliance. This weekend has been insane. Like I told Heather when she picked me up on Friday- It’s time to get ready for one roller coaster weekend… Boy, was my sarcasm right.
The last school week was just downright boring. Run of the mill boring. I spent all of my 1st, 5th, 6th, and 7th hours in the Media Center on Friday finishing the montage for the Senior Dedication. I wanted to cut off my wrists from having to type so much. Finally the damn thing was ready to be presented on Sunday night. However, we’re not to that point in the story yet.
Friday Night at 5pm marked the kick off of the 2004 American Cancer Society Orland Park- All Youth Relay For Life. We used to be the only all youth Relay in the country. Now, thanks to the advocacy of the ACS, we are one of hundreds. I’ve been Team Captaining for Relay since I was in 6th grade, and it always proves to be my favorite weekend (Next to Winter Musical weekend) of the school year. I have one more all youth Relay to go before I graduate… graduate… wow. We all met at Deanna’s to organize coolers, cars, and start the team kick off. Let me tell you, there is nothing funnier than watching 11 other kids try to weave in and out of cars on LaGrange avenue while having a stereo contest between “It’s A Sun Shiny Day” and “Hey Ya”. We finally got to Sandburg and the guys did a record job with the tent. 45 minutes!!! A true improvement since last years time of 2 hours. My hats off to you drama guys… Lord knows you’ll need help when you go to college. College is a totally different story in itself. So, after seeing Erin and Paul together, yelling at Blaise for being anti-social, organizing the food in the tent, seeing Jim Will’s half naked body, listening to Chris and Kevin talk about how it hurts to run in boxers (which we all saw), having a jam session with 5 other guitars/bongos/box noise thing/can of cashews/voices, going inside, coming outside, going inside, coming outside, listening to the survivor’s speak, tying myself to a hurdle with caution tape with Maggie to out ride the storm, holding on to Heather for dear life in the middle of the football field, welcoming Greg and Sara back from Prom, nailing a goal on the Sandburg Boy’s Soccer Goalie in the top right hand corner from past the 18, watching Heather CHOP OFF HER HAIR! (you punk) to donate to the ACS, singing Irish drinking songs with Kevin, watching the sun rise with Jill and Heather, and hooking Kev up with my girl from Sandburg, I was beat and ready for Mrs. Brosseau/Crandall’s bad ass breakfast. We were an hour early getting there, so we popped in Office Space and naturally all crashed on top of each other while watching it. We woke up the most gourmet breakfast ever… banana bread pound cake, the swine of god, sausage, egg casserole thing, apple juice, and this cream cheese cinnamon roll thing. Hats off to you rich ones, hats off to you. Greg drove me home and I crashed in my bed immediately I must have slept until 3:30, woke up and did nothing but the montage and decorations for the Drama Banquet. BTW: The Smallville season finale rocked my face off… I have to tell Zach. Which reminds me I have to get a second job. Daddy is insisting. I’m really not sure where my life is going right now… I’m really not.
Sunday! Drama Banquet! I woke up around 10:15am, went to church, dropped off my incredibly over due movies at Blockbuster. I was using them to search for monologues… which reminds me… oh God. So I went home and immediately started three barrel rolling my hair. It took 2 ½ hours, but it looked pretty good. In fact, I’m just going to keep my hair up for school tomorrow… no need to wash it all over again. So, I did my cool make up, put on pajamas (so we can work better), got together the laptop, flower bouquets for the new officers, them damn bricks, and headed out the door to the Silver Lakes Country Club. Mikey and Casey were big jerks and didn’t help me put up the damn bricks. So I said fuck it, and worked on my montage. At the end of it all, the room really did look nice. There were rainbow candles (which burned lots of napkins), rainbow lights, streamers, balloons, and of course, everyone in homecoming gowns and zuit suits. I ended up sitting with Chris, Kd, Joey, Kim, Melissa, Katherine, Mikey, Kevin Burke, and Sandy. There was some good laughs and some more Irish drinking songs. “No nay never! ::clap clap clap clap!:: No no nay never no more! And I play the wild rover, no never no more…” The awards came and I won “Best Trooper” for A Midsummer Night’s Dream. That was kind of cool since I’ve been pretty pissed with the outcome of this year. Which is the focus of my next paragraph… I’ll get there. So, the montage of the entire year was pretty cool. Good music to it! My presentation was absolutely faboo. The underclass’s speeches were either really funny or really teary. I spoke about Brittany Viola and Ryan Dolan. At the end of it all, Sullivan came up and told the room about all the time and effort I put in to it. That really did mean a lot since this entire year has sucked recognition wise. We got to dancing (Chris Leoni you crazy loon) and the DJ rocked for a drama party since we knew all the music. I’d have to say the coolest part about that portion of the night was everybody getting in a big circle and rocking the shit out of Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody. The Chamber Choir sang it for the Spring Concert, and we always listen to it before our productions to get pumped up. Talk about a crazy mash pit of crazy Thespians. After a while, it was time for some water at the bar. I found Matt Brosseau (who Kevin found macking it with Sarah Heinz in his car a few nights ago… FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!), Robert Eric Alexander Nosek, and Katherine. I sat with Katherine for a while and we found ourselves sitting in a dark room with Vazz deciding what next year’s musical is going to be. Let’s just say it’s practically decided… Dear Mr. Romano… Just do it! I’m excited… We walked back into the bar and talked there for awhile about like everything that we think is bullshit about life. Let me tell you- there is a lot of bullshit. Sometimes don’t you wish that you had a tape recorder attached to your shoulder so that you could play back every conversation you ever had- both good and bad? How cool would that be? Knowing that there would be no more fighting, petty arguments, or miscommunication between parent and child because everything would be solved with the touch of a rewind button… only if life was as easy as hitting a button. Two buttons would be nice. My life is more like 6,000 different buttons with different shapes and colors that will only fit one certain way and they never do. Joey drove me home. We stayed in my driveway and talked for about 25 minutes. She was crying a lot. I was crying for her sadness. I felt really bad for her. But at the same time, I kinda feel strangely odd. I shouldn’t be happy that she hates herself, is convinced that she’ll never get a lead, and that she wants to give up on theatre entirely. I just told her that there is a good chance that she could be so much happier if she did tennis, dated Russ (scenic artist), and focused on finding herself. She shouldn’t be living as a pawn to the Victor J. Andrew High School Theatre Department and all of the directors (Vazz) that are a part of it. (I just thought about Sarah and Matt again… fuck.) I’ve realized that Joey has been living like a pawn set off by her sister since her freshman year. I just want Katherine and I to kick ass next year as a unit. Not just Katherine. TJ might not be doing Winter Musical (Little Shop of Horrors) next year. I will be soooooooooooo upset if Mr./Mrs. Poly fcuk (yes, fcuk) that up for him. Posted at 02:40 pm by BellaSkye
May 17, 2004
It's called responsibility... MOTHER!
I have two days worth of blogs to dance upon this evening... I might as well get started.
::Slurp:: To those of you who I have pissed off today, I'm not sorry. Team Captaining it up for the American Cancer Society is some tough and heavy shit... Get responsible or forget about it. ::Slurp:: Thankyou to those who have their information/money/PARENT SIGNATURE turned in. ::Slurp:: And thankyou to Heather Hojnacki for this evenings beverage... "It's Mt. Dew cause you are crazy and hyper like Mt. Dew. And it's watery... I really don't have an explanation for that." Thankyou offspring of Senor Hoj. Thankyou for being loser parents. Die.
Moving on... The following is what I wrote while I was downtown on Sunday. We went to go see the Chicago Youth Symphony Orchestra perform at the Symphony Center. Congrats to Brandon, Brittany, and Steve for one killer show. I sat between Gary and the Clarinet Matt. I don't think they ever stopped smiling...
A reading from the book of Brenna. (I'll come up with a catchy name later.)
On the Metra: The more I sit here an converse with these people, the more I realize that I have nothing in common with them. To my left Amy R. and Adam Espo. To my right Drum Major Dick and worst of all, Sam Ruiter. I'm not friends with any of them and it's truely a shame that we aren't close. I've spent so much of my high school life with these people in various productions, yet we have nothing to talk about at the end of it all. So why do they fell that ignorance is the best policy? They are just too damn cool. I've said it once and I'll say it again- I can't wait for the Class of 2004 to get the hell out and graduate. Isn't there more to life than computer/video games? Obviously not. What about beauty, love, truth, and most of all mystery!!!! There is an entire world that must be discovered... Why rediscover things that we already know? Please people- take truth, fear, and mystery and live your damn life.
In Orchestra Hall (Upper Balcony, center section): I feel like I'm some how sitting here, not only saying "good bye" to the Seniors, but to life as well. I could and will never amount to the things these performers have done with their lives. I peer fown at Brandon in his tuxedo with trumpet in hand. I feel like crying my eyes out because I will never be that person. I'll never be able to sing like him or play like that. I'm not even worthy to come into this grand building. So why the hell am I here? Probably just to remind myself (as so the others who I'm with can remind me) how much of a failure I am. They do it every day. I look over at Brittany. Of course I can't see her face cause of her harp, but I can see a blaze of light around her. I will never be her either. She's so skinny, beautiful, smart, talented, accomplished. I don't even feel worthy enough to hug her after the show. Both of them are like your Grammies fine china that never gets touched, ya know? Too precious to ever be dirty. Always polished with lots and lots of money to perfection. Why do I even try? There isn't a single person in all of Orchestra Hall that would even care if I left. Can I please just go to college already?
1st Hour Monday: We got on the 10:55pm train and didn't go out to eat at Bennigan's. There wasn't enough time. So, we slowly walked back down Michigan Ave, past Roosevelt University ::stares in awe::, into the Chicago Board of Trade and over to LaSalle and Congress. Baskin Donuts was closed so we went back up to the station. Mr. Pampel was waiting at a red light, so he naturally got out of the car and started screaming like a drunk at us. Amy got scared. I laughed my ass off... Crazy old man. After we got on the train, a group of maybe 15 drunk college students got on after the Cubs game. After 5 minutes, Amy wanted to put a gun to her head, Adam tried hitting on her more, Sam wanted to scream at them, Dick fell asleep, and Bill called my cell. "Dear Bill, why the fuck are you calling me again? You don't want anything to do with me... Why..." Then, I tell him to hang on so I can give the black train man my money. The fucker hangs up on me because he's too damn impatient to wait for 2 minutes. Come on 5 y/o's. Get with it or forget it. Listening to the drunk's conversations were kinda funny... It was even funnier when the cop came on and busted them for smoking pot. Sure, the alcohol is ok... but not the mary jane. All the while, Todd calls me and I talked to him for a good 45 minutes. What a nice guy, ya know? He's like "Oh Brenna... oh, yeah! Hmm... yeah! right?" He's a cutie... submissive... passive...and a push over, (jk) but a genuinely good guy who loves eating pizza with his shirt off. Who doesn't!?? He made me feel a lot better about the entire night. Did I mention that he was there? LOL... Yeah... I got a good hug! I hope you are casted in Pippin my friend! Break a leg! And of course, my nights are never complete with out talking to Jeff. (I sware to God I'm on the reality TV show Mr. Personality. BTW- is that still on the air?) We talked for a little over a half hour. He's so kind to me. So loving, gentle... I can't wait for that day. I fell asleep, woke up at 8:03, showered, put on pajamas, and ran out the door with my damn guitar that I didn't rehearse AT ALL. It's cool. Finals aren't until next week. I better be getting a "B" in Mythology. Other wise- I don't know what the hell is going on.
The Word of the Brenna.
All respond: Thanks be the Brenna.
Well, that's what I had to say about Sunday... I saw Jekyll and Hyde at Sandburg on Friday... Not good my friends... not good. "Mad Props Yo" to the VJA Theatre Program. We could have improv'd that show and it would have been better. I have a 79.5% in Mythology... If she doesn't give me the B, I'll be pissed. Todd's audition went OK, he said. Greg is wonderful for burning my CDs of RAGTIME!!!!! (hail, hail) Yearbook signing started today... that's an entire median in it's self. Relay For Life is moving along slowly. Heather bought be a slurpee with her ice creamed drug money. Maggie enlightened me on her belief of the meaning of life... I'll talk to her about that later. Tomorrow is the Finale Choir Concert. Join us in the Performing Arts Center at 7:30pm. I think that's all for now... Oh- One more... Gary told me that we need to keep Amy Ricchiuto in special prayers tonight... Will do, Ton Ton... Will do. Posted at 11:56 pm by BellaSkye
May 6, 2004
...at least until it's time to leave.
I haven't had my computer in days and I finally get it back tonight. Stupid Little One decides to download a shit load of WWE videos, songs, and porn clips for his 14 y/o enjoyment. Thus, we get a Trojan Horse virus on our computer and I loose almost everything. The one thing I wanted to save for this summer (well, a car would be nice) was my own computer. I'm going to need one when I go away to college anyways, so why not give it to me now!? The 'rents claim it costs "hundreds of dollars that we don't have" to get a phone jack in my room. How many people do I have to kill to save enough money for a computer? If anyone needs some people shot, I'd be happy to take care of them for a set fee. I have some of my own I should take out... to dinner... and a movie... and to my "stupid fucking rope". Well, you're stupid and a fuck, so you might as well kill yourself anyways. What was that analogy I can up with the other day? Oh yeah! It wasn't really an analogy, but it was still comparing things. I was talking with the Chamber Choir bitches and all they had to talk about were their beautiful Prom gowns, $1,000 weekend, and how they can't wait to marry boys to make tons of babies. Fuck that. Who has kids at 23!? I'm waiting as long as I can to have kids. Once you start popping them out, you might as well kiss your life goodbye to raise them. My life isn't going to be over at 23. Hell, it's barely begun at that point. I probably won't even get married... No one wants to talk to me let alone.. oh fuck it.
Speaking of death, I once wrote a poem that was the most amazing piece of art I ever created. All of this shit on stage that I do for the school, etc. is nothing compared to what I created that night. If you're just curious, don't ask me about it. If you genuinly want to know because you believe it could make an impact on you, still don't ask. Go fuck yourself. Anways, there is a line that states that I'll never leave with out a note left to the world. I've already started it, there's no use in keeping it in a paused state. So, I think I might just name off some people and tell them what I think.
Mr. Pampel: It's really sad sitting here listening to your stories. I pity you, your family, and all the people who have hurt you so much in your life. I hope you get over your cold soon so you can sing/play to your full potential again. You're a good man. Underpaid, but a good and honest man.
I'll finish this later. Now, I have to go to a Drama Club meeting where what's supposed to happen, won't. Where justice is due, it won't. And where certain people should get what they deserve, won't either.
Posted at 02:48 pm by BellaSkye
Apr 20, 2004
"I'll know when my love comes along..."
Everyone back stage listen up!
"...I won't take a chance..."
Into the auditorium house immediatly!
"...For all, he'll be just what I need..."
Sit down! Everyone! Be Quiet!
"...Not some fly by broadway romance..."
::house lights, stage lights, and dance studio lights go on::
"I'll be strong! For I'll know when my love comes along."
::Orchestra stops playing and you could suddenly hear the clicking of walkie talkies, a silent cast/crew/orchestra, and floods of parents entering the Performing Arts Center.::
Ladies and Gentlemen we have an issue. There is a tornado watch outside. When you all went on your dinner break it was only showers and storm. Now, we are up to a full scale tornado watch. We are going to take a break from rehearsal so people can call home to check in, then we will continue rehearsal until the run of the show is complete. Report back onto the stage ready to start Act 1 Scene 3 in 15 minutes. Does anyone have any questions? Please everyone remain calm and we will wait until we hear...
::Dean enters the PAC with walkie talkie. Approaches directors and begins to wisper about a change in plans::
Ladies and Gentlemen, there has been a small change in plans. The police have arrived and would like everyone to go home immediatly. Please use the telephone in the green room if you need it or many of you have cell phones. No one is to walk home and no one can stay in the building. Please, leave immediatly.
::over 150 cast, crew, orchestra, and volunteers run out of the PAC immediatly to begin dialing numbers on their cell phones.::
"Hunny, are you ok?"
"Hi Joe, I've got the kids. We'll be home soon."
"Mrs. K? I'm taking home your daughter. She's ok."
The administration is running raged getting everyone to be calm. It wouldn't last for long.
Within 5 minutes, the people remaining in the building were sent into a corridor along side the library to sit and wait. I took on 4 of the cast members as my own to drive home. Now we were all holding hands trying to stay together in a corrupt atmosphere. Breathe Brenna. Think. You know what to do. I picked up my cell phone and began calling the parents of the cast members that were with me.
"We will be home as soon as we can. Yes, we have a car. Yes, they are safe."
My father arrived at the school and waited outside for us. I tried calling him on his cell phone to tell him that we couldn't leave but I didn't have reception in the area. I ran to the front of the school and saw him outside. I called again and all he did was yell, sware, scream, and make me feel like hell again. After all, he didn't yell at me yet today. It seemed timely. Another Dean saw him throwing a fit like a todler and insisted that I get back into the building. After a while we were told we could leave if we did it now. It seemed like there might not be another tornado for a while. I grabbed onto the hands of my four companions and sped down the hallway.
"Left. Straight and a left at the stop sign. Right here. Left side of the street. Third house."
::the van door slams shut- One, Two, Three, Four... and me, Five.::
I took what I had of my books, costume, and things inside and took off my character shoes. My father had the radio on and it mentioned Joliet. I started crying when I thought about Andrew.
"Are you ok?"
"Yeah, I'm alright. Are you ok out there?"
"Yes. We were in rehearsal."
"I'm picking up my friend- she is stranded at work. Then I'm going over to the Walgreens to help out. I heard the roof collapsed in."
"Alright. I just wanted to call you and see if you were alright."
"Thankyou for caring about me. I love you."
"I love you."
::click::
I started to call other people inside of my cell phone book. Most people seemed to be doing ok. I was on the phone with Melissa when I looked up and saw this on the night stand.
"As the rain and snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish...so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it."
Isaiah 55: 10-11 NIV
Ironic? Not at all. That sign was most definatly intended to be there. As was the storm, the people crying, the cell phones ringing... the cast finally shutting their mouths to listen to someone- all placed there by The Most High. The rain did indeed come down upon the land, Lord. And it will feed the plants, animals, and the earth. And your Word will do the same. This is your demand. We now know that you will not leave this earth until all you have intended to happen has happened. People, you have been told. Now, you have two choices. You can either act upon his request and be ready, or ignore him and his will. (Which by the way- "Thy will be done.") You can see the wind, rain, and thunder that God can send. And he will keep sending his word until you listen and listen well. Amen.
Posted at 09:28 pm by BellaSkye
Apr 16, 2004
Nieve (sp?) Substitute Teachers
It's third hour guitar class and Mr. Pampel has left the building! Actually, his son is getting surgery. "God Bless you and I suppose, God Bless America too..." (Oh Ragtime how I long for you!)
Ryan Dolan has something to say. Take it away Ry Ry!
Ryan Dolan: There are heroes of faith but faith is not only for heroes.
What a guy... I'll be back later with more! Have to go type a news summary...
____________________________________________
7th Hour...
Hello constant reader! I'm back again at Mr. Pampel's computer (yipee!) for another issue of this... um... thing...
Current music: Canon in D on harp by Catherine Way.
Current mood: Aware.
Current drink: Agua.. Agwe? OOTI!
Current class I'm supposed to be in: Study Hall- Music Department. Hip-Hip-a-friggin-ray for the music department and under paid teacher like Masta P.
OMG!!!!!!! OH MY FRIGGIN GOOOOODOODODDD!!! BRB!!!
Bitter sweet and strange
finding you can change
learning you were wrong.
Certain as the sun rising in the east.
Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the Beast.
Little did I know that this CD that I put on was about love and was filled with love songs from musicals. Who knew that one CD could hold Pachelbel, Alen Menken, Andrew Lloyd Weber, and Marjorie Chauvel!? Talk about one hell of a CD that must be stolen, burned, and returned! Send In The Clowns is number seven on the CD... Makes me think about Heather for some odd reason.
I'm a clown. I don't hide it. I don't hide anything. Wow, looking back at that statement I just made makes me think a lot. I was left alone purely for the fact that I'm too kind. Too loving. I have too big of a heart. Is that even a break up excuse!? ------ "You are wonderful. You have been so incredibly kind to me. I don't understand how one person could be so incredibly passionate and loving. You have made me think and realize that there are people out there who love and care about me dearly. But, I'm leaving you. I hope we can be friends." ------ I shouldn't have put it that way. However, to the average unmarried female, (basically insecure) it certainly seems that way... I'm just getting over my cold. Sorry all you guys and dolls. (Music switched to Phantom... take me away Andrew Lloyd Weber!!!) On a more serious note, I've realized something. Unless you give your entire self to God, you will be left alone, unwanted, etc. etc. Why has it taken me 17 years to realize that the material things in life don't matter? Pleasing people, fancy clothes, a beautiful boy on my arm... It's because all of those things provide fake love. Those "gifts" aren't from God. I need to focus my life on the gifts that are from God and not from somewhere else. Sure, it's tough being a theatrical student in high school because you always have to be on top of your game and pleasing the world. The G.I. casts always wonder why we never go to state. Perhaps it's because they are a group based around the evil things in the world- sex, alcohol, drugs, hatred, false love, etc. Maybe if the group prayed just once and gave their lives to the Savior, they would all be better off as performers... and people. But who will witness? Who will testify to the raw, beautiful power of the Lord? I'd like to say that I will. I'd like to say yes. But oppression, anger, violence, hatred, and lies are in the way. I'd like to believe that I was placed in the spot, in this hour, on this day, in this town for a mear fact that I was born to minister to people. How beautiful would that be to live your life with God, through God, and in God. Amen to that.
I have to head off to musical rehearsal now... I have much more to say later on tonight. ::winks at the screen:: That's for you Sara(h). Posted at 11:07 am by BellaSkye
Apr 11, 2004
"Here's to the nights we felt alive. Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry. Here's to goodbye tomorrow's gonna come too soon." Eve 6
I can't think of a better title for this blog. (Sorry Jill, but you can't fit.) It's really hard to be the philosophical minister when I'm sleeping... The world went to hell last night and I wasn't awake for it.
I'm updating as we speak... Posted at 01:18 pm by BellaSkye
Apr 6, 2004
One year guys... One year....
Second day back from Spring Break. I didn't blog much over break. Too many late nights without blogging time! Ask me if I read Homer's Odyssey. Forget it, don't waste your breath. I have rehearsal in about 15 minutes. Taking this hour was the best thing I've ever done for myself. I'm talking to Bob over text on the phone, that's why you don't have my full attention. BROOKE! GO HOME! I absolutly adore my jeans today. I looked in the mirror and I felt really skinny.. Now i'm happy.
Mikey Lisek says..... sup fuckers!!!! thats all i got right now. cept, i dont understand why people say everyone is irish on st. patty's day because everyone isnt polish on polaski day. if this were tru..there would be a shit load of accidents. cya fuckers!!!!!
Matt Brosseau says.... It is a little known fact that I, Matt Brosseau am black. Yes, that's right. I'm a brother! Best represent! And no Bren, I do not have a crush on Sandy Splayt, though she does have nice knockers and legs that I touch often, but so does Mikey Lisek damnit. What is this anti Matt day. Are you part of the fucking KKK or something Brenna? Christ, it's all because I'm black. That was horrible Brenna, I can't believe you just said that. I'm truely shocked. The fact that you are celebrating my saviours death simply because we get a day off of school. You whore.
I'm updating as we speak... Posted at 03:11 pm by BellaSkye
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